Tan Madge

Sporting a tan dermis for about 29 + 2 years. . .

Because my life feels like a sitcom. Sometimes it is on Fox. Sometimes on the WB. Sometimes on VH1 on a Sunday morning.

Some episodes are definitely better than others. Which is why a boxed-set probably won't be hitting stores until at least 2013.
August 21

The thing about nipples in public is…

…they are EVERYWHERE. It seems that the new I-don’t-care-about-what-I-look-like-fashion has a new accessory. And guess what? It isn’t a bra. Well, not a lined one anyway.

Has this been happening for a while? Have I just recently caught on to nippapalooza? This is hands-down the most active attention-seeking behavior curdled with a “Oh, I didn’t know that they were showing” attitude.

You’re such a f**king liar with your nipples sticking out in that second-hand wannabe yellowed tank top. I know what you’re doing. And I don’t like it.

Honey, use your nipples for good. Not as a “mistaken” attempt at world-domination.