Ten things I would do if I were a man:
1). Pee standing up. I’d pee at every opportunity that presented itself: camping, excuse me I have to go stand facing this bush, at a restaurant, let me saddle up to this urinal, at home, wow! I don’t even have to take my pants off.
2). Go to a bar and watch a sports game. Maybe I would befriend other lone wolves and sit at a bistro table with them, making conversation and taking mental notes of the patterns of behavior and the course of discussion.
3). I would get a blow job. Let’s see what all the hype is about. Is it better for a man to receive than a woman? I’d be the one to settle the score. From what I hear, getting one of these can’t be that hard. Which leads to another question, “Is it harder for a woman or a man to receive?”
4). I drink an entire pitcher of beer and experience how not completely shit-faced I would be since I’m not a woman. (Note: as a woman, I have some experience training for this event, but alas, I always succomb to shitfacedness).
5). I would learn to appreciate and enjoy scotch?
6). Get fitted for a very nice suit, and then wear it everywhere I go.
7). I would decide to lose 10 pounds by not eating one cookie, and then just think about the weight shedding from my body.
8). I would take the Jetta for an oil change at Jiffy Lube and see what (and if) they would try to up-sell me on any unnecessary products/services.
9). I would have an in-depth conversation with female friend about relationships and note what pops into my head. Then I would gauge if I am trying to sleep with all of my female friends.
10). Try to kiss another man. Preferably a willing one. (I have always wondered if men kiss men differently than they would kiss a woman).
Something tells me there is nothing novel about these ideas…most men do this all the time. Which proves my point, why not me?
