Tan Madge

Sporting a tan dermis for about 29 + 2 years. . .

Because my life feels like a sitcom. Sometimes it is on Fox. Sometimes on the WB. Sometimes on VH1 on a Sunday morning.

Some episodes are definitely better than others. Which is why a boxed-set probably won't be hitting stores until at least 2013.
May 1

Dating hasn’t changed much since high school…yeah, I said it.

Here are the ways it is largely the SAME:

  • Unnecessary need to hug the person every time you see them. What is this, a family reunion?
  • Wearing outfits that you would never wear before realizing this person existed
  • Necking.
  • Hooking up with a guy after a couple of drinks leads to a never-ending barrage of texts, phone calls and conversations with friends who are disappointed and shocked at the behavior
  • Paying for myself — something tells me this trend is something that happens to ME and ME ALONE. 
  • Goofy, playful behavior that is supposed to mask awkwardness but really, it magnifies it and makes all viewing participants ill. Flirting that negatively affects the community.
  • I’ve been invited to a coffee shop in NW Portland on a Thursday. This is like deja vu, where the adult male hasn’t realized that a Thursday night at a coffee shop cuts into adult female cocktail hour(s). 
  • Rare occurrence (it happens to few of us and is reticent of high school): date mentions plans to go out with another person (or name drops) in a passive-aggressive manner meant to make current-date jealous. Really? Really. You can’t be on the Varsity dating team if you still have a lame JV Batting Average.